Nearly one week ago, I stopped writing.
I started my week with low motivation. I stopped in front of the computer several times to write, and it just did not come through. I had more than five drafts existing (so enough space to close at least one article), but I just did not feel like doing it.
I was rather not so productive for my job cores as well and all in one, this discouraged even more to write. So yeah, I stopped writing for a few days and a month ended without me keeping my word to write one post a day.
What does it say about me? Am I unable to commit by set objectives? Am I a quitter, a non-performer? In this life where we are all about objectives,goals and achievements, and basically all about performance, it is always difficult to consider a miss as something which is not a failure. Even when, the objective is defined in a non-professional sphere, even when it is a leisure, we (I, and I am sure I am not alone) quickly feel, that we are not respecting/achieving our goals. For this reason, afther the first two days without writing, I thought for a few minutes about quitting this goal.
Indeed, when I sat in March with the crazy idea to write one post per day for the net 365 days, little did I know how my life would change. I was in mid-term pregnancy and I just did not imagine what being a mum was all about.
Yeah, people tell you, mothers, aunties, friends, etc.. but for each and everyone it is just a unique experience (will surely be the subject of another post). So basically, it has changed my life. It has changed priorities, and it is I have to admit tiring as well. So sometimes, when evening comes and I am supposed to write the article, and Lil Princess is not yet sleeping, when she finally sleeps, guess what I sleep as well lol and stop the writing.
In the first weeks of my pregnancy, I fought hard (suppose, it was easier with maternity leave) to find the strength to keep writing anyway, everyday. In the past months in fact, I tried most of the times to do it.
This week, I just wanted to stop. I wanted to stop and see the difference. I wanted to stop and measure if it was so important me. I wanted to stop and feel how it felt (yep, this redundance is meant) not to write. I wanted to feel, measure the importance of writing in my life. I have always written somehow, small texts in notebooks, thoughts in a secret book when I was a teenager, writings on Word documents. I don’t know if I want to be a writer (I would even say no, publishing books, too far for me) but I like writing. I like using words to reshape my thoughts. I like writing to describe the world I live in. In fact, I need to write.
So, during one week, I felt like stopping. I felt like changing. I felt like my new responsabilities were too much to cope with. I can’t promise, I will not skip some other day. I don’t even worry about it, because the other lesson is I am writing for me first and foremost. But still, writing is important, and I will keep on sharing and I hope you will be more and more readers. I don’t mean to be a star, but if my words can touch, change a bit in someone’s life, just for a second, then I will feel happy.
Therefore, feel free to comment, I will always find time to respond. Happy Reading. This is La Case D’Anna.