Who said it was impossible to change? It is funny how in our environment, people can easily label others.
Indeed, we see people they way we expect them to be, the way we saw them evolve and never question our views. Moreover, as individuals we easily block ourselves from achieving our dreams because we believe we can’t change.
In the past two years, I have changed in ways I would have never expected and I believe anyone can make it.
Indeed, per essence, we were not created to be stable. From our birth to our death, we go through different stages in our lives. Each stage comes with different ambitions, objectives, projects.
For each of them, there is part which comes given and more frequently, there is a part we need to strive for. If I am not a good singer, I can become one by going through classes. Or, if i was not good in mathematics, I can grow to a nerd if I identify my weaknesses in the subject and work on them.
It seems like simple truth but it is a truth which we deny to ourselves and to others. For example, how many times have you heard or said the sentence “I am who I am, I can’t change?”. I used to say it too, until I realised, it was not good enough.
(Indeed), how can you justify the fact of being disrepectful by considering it is the way you are? Can you really stay lazy, snoosing up to 9.00 am everyday and believe that you will achieve anything concrete. Of course, some will tell me that they are not early birds, but what does it mean
1. Everything can change
You decide of the person you want to be and you can decide to be that person every single day of your life. I have to admit that sometimes challenges will ignite change. Still, it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t need to wait a catastrophy to wake up.
I believe our yearly objectives can support us in our changes. Define what you need to achieve in a specific year and decide on the person you need to become to achieve those objectives.
I have often heard people saying : I am impulsive this is my character, I hate speaking in public, it’s my character, and so on and so forth. As far as I am concerned, I managed to work on those two aspects which used to define the person I was.
Managing my temper remains a fight especially when I am under pressure or navigate through uncertainty, but I am not giving up. It has to be totally controlled because it’s unacceptable in my standards to lose control whatever the situation. The leader I intend to become can’t afford to be everything but loving and kind. In the past months, I have the feeling I have moved backwards. I acknowledge it and I am determined to keep working on it, rather than accepting it as normal.
As far as public speaking is concerned, I still don’t like it. Meanwhile, I no more shy away from it. I don’t hide in corners and each time I am expected to do it, I do what I have to do. People never believe it when I say I hate public speaking (smile) but it’s an absolute truth. However, it does not define me anymore.
Those are just two little examples to make a point: Anyone can change!
2. The best version of you is never a given
We are not naturally good persons. In the contrary, we work to become good persons. Why should we strive to become the best version of ourselves: simply in line with our objectives and convictions. Thus, you can admit that those ones often change. If you have decided to be rich by your 4oth birthday and you are now 35 years old, there is an amount of work which you need to put in, to get to your dream.
However, as Benjamin P. Hardy says and put in my own words, some people will always bee dreamers and may never achieve anything. Indeed, they will keep their dream a dream rather than making it a commitment, an objective. When you commit, there is nothing supposed to be a barrier for you, not even yourself. As you commit, you silently decide to make it.
Meanwhile, we are few to commit. Most of the times, we stand by our personnality like a piece of clothing. Have you never seen that relationship with clothing for some of us? That outfit which you have since ten years, and which does not correspond to your actual style. You may feel like you want that memory of your former you to stay. Meanwhile, what is the point of keeping in our drawers outfit that don’t reflect the person we have become or the person we are becoming?
Yesterday, I put some shoes aside and you can’t imagine how it felt good. Since I have decided to wear lower heels, I have often heard the question “Why”. If walking on 20cm felt good for you, it did not feel good for me anymore. Period. It is just an expression of my new motto and it should be taken as such.
Based on this last statement, we can get on to the next point.
3. Don’t allow people to stop your growth.
Be yourself for yourself. Become a different you for yourself. People have no right in judging you and you must not allow them to do so.
Most of the times, we allow people to make us feel bad with who we are or become, just because they are close to us. “It is my friend, he knows me” or “That is my mum, she wants the best for me”. All those sentences are true and false!
When you decide to change, it is generally for reasons that concern you only. People cannot pretend knowing you better than you and you should not take the risk to believe the contrary. For example, a few weeks ago, I allowed somebody to tell me that “I had changed, and the person I seemed to be now, was not able to achieve her objectives”. I remember some of the other words “You have lost who you are, wake up, you can get knowhere with this”. The most tricky part out of it, is I was sad. I got touched and I started challenging the new me.
The truh is in the midst of change, though I precisely know why I have changed and I will keep changing, I am human. As a human, I can be tempted to go back to old habits, just because it is easier. That is how it becomes tricky to tolerate people telling you just anything.
Therefore, quickly make sure to close barriers with “Thank you for your advice, I will think about it”. When reflecting on that conversation, this is exactly and simply what I should have said. Way better is ” Thanks for your kind thoughts, I am more than ok and happy”. Always keep in mind that changing is a process but more importantly is an internal will and a commitment to yourself.
Don’t allow anybody in the course of your growth to push you on the wrong side. If you decided to think differently, be different, you surely had excellent reasons. Move on with YOUR agenda, not self-imposed ones.
Truly believe it, you can be anything you decide to be. It just takes the courage to go through it. Get more information on how you can progress in life, and grow yourself permanently by subscribing to this wonderful blog. Yeah I said it, my blog is wonderful, cheers!