Have you ever felt social media could be a living demotivator? Being it Twitter, Facebook or Instagram? 

Seriously, we all have at least one of those friends which annoys us. Always pretty, always well dressed, supposedly great life achievements, big posts, all about big noise.

On top of the fancy ones, you have even more real achievers, inspiring figures, getting from one project to another, marketing it, talking about it, sharing the achievements, when you are still struggling with that one possibly big project which for now, is still close to nothing (or so you think, it is easier to belittle yourself). 

In all senses, I have that feeling that social media has multiplied the risk for insecurity. Indeed, with social media, there is more and more the need to show, not necessarily show-off but at least show. The natural reflex remaining to hide your flaws and show the best of you, many stories, pictures, always seem so fancy, neat, inspiring, that you wonder how easy it is for those others to succeed and so easy for you in contrary to fail.

That is demotivation, but let us stop here. As great it is to realize that you can sometimes be “demotivated” by other’s reflection of their lifes, it is as much important to realize that you should not care.

In life, we are all different, we all have our individual and unique path. We all have our set of talents given to us by God, and for which we should thank him. We should therefore take our time in nurturing our abilities, striving for personal excellence, defining our goals in lives.

That said, I still want to stop and digress. In life, on social media and in public, it is very easy to say what is expected of you by norm, by society, etc… So Yeah the norm supposes that you should not live looking at other’s people lives and more importantly that it should demotivate you. But, as a reminder, sometimes I am also sharing my own experience and that one is not easy.

Indeed, in my personal experience, I believe honestly I dream too much, like really too much and don’t always get the nerves/ the will/ the ability etc.. to make some of my dreams come true. In the meantime, others are moving, others are actually bringing their passion/dream to lives. In the meantime, I am 30 and if I was asked what is my greatest accomplishment, I would say my Lil Princess. On the other side, if you asked me about my regrets, I would have so many things to say.

For example, as I have already shared, I “started” my consulting agency in December. Still, I have not given it up to now the amount of focus and drive which could enable her to really drive. On one side, there are some good reasons and on the other side, I often feel like I was a failure. Plus, when I would check the news feeds of friends or distant connections that may have started a project around that period and watch myself now, sometimes, many times, I would  feel demotivated. I would feel there is no point going on as I am doing nothing great.

This sounds very negative and one could feel, I am just getting down a very dangerous road. However, despite this apparent negativity, I still know I will achieve it. I still take small, tiny steps everyday to get to my objective. A step is a step! Indeed, we all have our past, our baggage, our abilities as I was mentioning above and yeah, the only person you need to focus on is YOU.  I learn to practise and feel that focus and it is tough. I learn to look at those others shining on social media (lol) without comparing. I even become curious of the success of some of them and rather try to discuss, get some insights. When that happens, I often tend to discover that this or that person which I would “envy” has her own sets of hurdles or more, that the person admires me instead.

What I have therefore learnt and what I strive to practice (though I can have some small, down, self-pity moments from time to time), is achieving one little thing each day and focus on the positive outcome of the achievement.I learn to praise without envying, keeping only the positive energy out of it. Plus, I pray God everyday to give me the drive. Yeah the drive, the ability to move on, stay focused and move forward, it is all about it.

In summary, social media can be a demotivator, but in reality they can also be our greatest source of motivation. Looking at others should only be to look for inspiration and drive. It should never be about stupid gaze, it should never be about comparison and one thing I missed, it should never be about dissing. If you don’t like somebody, if you believe he is not true, authentic, just delete any connection with him/her on social media, rather than letting frustration/anger take the best out of you.

Thanks for taking the time to read me, thanks to this silent community of readers which is growing. I feel more open, more determined to share in this space. Sharing is caring, sharing is learning and in this sense, social media is an inspiration.

Love, Anna♦